4 Things I’ve Learned From My Boyfriend

The beginning of a new year is always such a magical time for me. New beginnings. A clean slate. Endless possibilities. The world is a canvas just begging for me to splatter it with the paint of my soul. This year especially, I feel very deeply that this new year symbolizes a true change for me. Something new and exciting is coming, I can feel it. And in the wake of this big change, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting. Checking in with myself. My desires. My dreams. This year will be a year of passion and inspiration and creativity and making my dreams come true.

One of my biggest inspirations in this area is my most favorite person in the entire world. My best friend. My partner. My love. My heart. I am so grateful for the love that we have and so grateful for the life and the laughs and the special moments that we share. I recognize what we have as a rare and special thing, and I feel truly lucky to get to spend so many of my breaths here on earth with him. He is my strongest supporter. My biggest inspiration. My number one fan.

I decided to share some of my favorite things I’ve learned from him, because although he likes to tell everyone that I’m the smart one, he certainly has no shortage of wisdom. And I believe that everyone can benefit from a little more of the following:

Say F*** It
I am someone who stresses out about every little thing, and although I tend to pride myself on my ability to be empathetic, I often throw my wants and needs aside to please others. I am constantly worrying about upsetting someone or letting others down. I have an obsessive need to please everyone around me, and I usually end up suffering myself in one way or another as a result. This need of mine tends to leave me in a crippling ball of anxiety, which in turn stresses my boyfriend out because he hates to see me hurting. Recently, he was fed up with me stressing out over something that basically boiled down to this fear of disappointing someone, and he said “You need to say ‘F*** it’ more often.” We’ve since joked around about it, but in that moment, he was 100% sincere. And it really resonated with me. He’s so right. This is my life, and it’s the only one I get. Do I really want to spend the majority of it worrying about things that don’t mean anything? Worrying about disappointing people who are most likely too concerned with their own anxieties to even be affected by my decisions? No. I have more important things that I could be focusing my energy on. So, from that point on, I vowed to say “F*** it” more often. To not let the little things get to me. To be open to the possibility of disappointing other people if I am doing what genuinely feels right in my soul. I encourage you to say “F*** it” with me, and live your life for YOU.

Be Unapologetically Yourself
One thing I’ve been working on a lot these last few years is caring less about what other people think of me. I’m still not quite where I want to be, but it’s definitely becoming a lot easier to be authentic and to let my true self shine no matter where I am or who I am around. Since I started dating my boyfriend over five years ago, I’ve learned what it means to be adored, even loved, for being 100% myself. And let me tell you, I am one strange girl. But he has seen it all, and he loves me so much. I started from that space of feeling celebrated for being myself in my own home, and I’ve begun to branch out, letting other people see the real me. It’s scary, and I have a long way to go. But it’s necessary to be authentic in this world. And it feels damn good. It’s a bit easier, too, when I see my boyfriend being himself wherever we are, whoever we are with. He’s not worried about other people not liking him. He is just concerned with being himself and doing what feels good to him. Goals… am I right?

Work Hard
My boyfriend is one of the hardest workers I know. He is not someone to half-heartedly do anything. If he’s committed to something, he puts all of his heart into it. He strives for perfection, while still recognizing the fact that perfection is more of a general direction than a specific destination. He puts long hours into the things that he cares about, and he believes that hard work is the only way to succeed. Any time I am having a tantrum about not being good enough at something, he gets fired up. He believes that no one is good at anything without hard work, dedication, and practice. Maybe most importantly, he believes no one is good at anything without at first failing. He encourages me to read more, watch/listen to experts, and practice practice practice. If I want to be good at something, I need to get my hands dirty and put in some serious work. I need to fail at it and fail again. And then most importantly, get back up, dust off my hands, and try again.

Never Give Up
Before my boyfriend and I started dating, I wasn’t so sure about the idea of us. But he was certain from the very beginning. After he was extremely brave in confessing how he felt about me, he told me that he knew that I didn’t feel the same about him yet. But he promised to never give up on me, because he knew that we were supposed to be together. And sure enough, after months of patience on his part and months of me attempting to get my shit together and realize that he was right, he was there for me. He kept his promise; he never gave up. This is also true in his professional life. He was in a job that he hated, but he knew where he wanted to go. He was persistent in contacting prospective employers; reaching out to hundreds of companies until someone decided to give him a chance. And now he is a rising star in his industry. So, never give up on your dreams. You are the only one who can make them come true, and if you are persistent enough and you work hard enough, good things are bound to come your way. But you have to put in the work. And you can never EVER give up.

So, find people who inspire you and encourage you to become the person you were always meant to be. I am lucky enough to be spending my life with one of my biggest inspirations. He is living proof that it is possible to live your dreams. As long as you say “F*** it” to the haters and insignificant stress that life throws your way, be unapologetically yourself, work super hard, and never give up, then you really can’t go wrong.


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